Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Founders Beer For Kids Banned


One of the United States' more fantastic beers has had something uncool done to it. It's come out through the other side even cooler than before, I think, so we ought not to allow the mindless all-pervasiveness of an ever-growing and always-poopier bureaucracy get us down. Instead, let us buy and drink more Founders beers. Would you believe my local sports bar always has at least one Founders beer on tap, and last year got two cases of the KBS in?

Anyway, here's the uncool thing that was done to Founders:
The Grand Rapids-based brewery announced last week it was changing the label after the image was said to promote underage drinking. 
“As we gear up for Stout Season, we’re also saying goodbye to a dear friend. The baby of Breakfast Stout is taking some time away from his crib after being booted from the label in our home state of Michigan,” the brewer said in a statement posted to its website, reported Michigan Live. 
On the new label, bowl is still on the table but the baby is no longer. But he left a note on the refrigerator with the message, “Left the crib for a bit, call me if you need me 616-522-2720.”
Sigh. So this is the new label.

Perhaps now is the time to remind everyone of a few things:

1. Beer was for breakfast in the past.

2. Beer is for breakfast today. And Founders is great at it.

3. Beer was for children yesterday.

3. Beer is for children today. Teach your children well.

Beer may be for children, but it is not for louts. Especially not juvenile louts. So perhaps these states ruling that pictures of babies encourages underage drinking is justified. Many is the Stop-n-Go that has been terrorized by young hoodlums on the prowl for a stout craft ale to abuse. Stupid underage rowdies and their imperial double IPAs.

Stupid states.

P.S. Drink more Founders.

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