Top 10 Modern American Mustaches: #9 Dale Earnhardt

First of all, let it be known that the top result for googling "dale earnhardt mustache" is this Uncyclopedia article, which begins, "Ralph Dale Earnhardt Sr. was the most successful secret agent ever trained by the Canadian military." For our New Zealand (and other furriners) readers, Dale Earnhardt was a legendary NASCAR race car driver who is idolized by American Southerners, who usually have three stickers on the back of their pick-up trucks: a deer head, a pissing Calvin, and Earnhardt's number 3..

Second of all, I'm sorry for thy sake that the #10 and #9 mustaches are similar. That's just how the mustache wax crumbles.

Most enjoyable aspect of this mustache? The way its width emphasizes the wearer's smirk.

It's either this mustache or this smirk that says "I'm better than you."

Perhaps the saddest part of Earnhardt's legacy, who threw the entire South into mourning when he died in a car crash in 2001, was that he left his race car driving son so far in his shadow that Jr. felt he had to grow the rather overachieving beard (note strong neck beard combined with weak chin beard).


  1. I just recently had a side-by-side photo with an earnhardt sticker.

  2. I can't believe that if you were going for a Nascar moustache you'd take Dale Earnhardt over Richard Petty.


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