Top 10 Modern American Mustaches: #10 Mark Spitz

Over the next ten days I'll be doing the Top 10 Modern American Mustaches, with an emphasis on the iconic impact of said mustaches, more than on the wow factor of an individual mustache. Of course, how could a mustache be iconic without a little wow?

Coming in at #10 is the best mustache in aquatic sport, Mark Spitz. Who cares if his website describes him as the "most notable athlete of all-time", three years after Michael Phelps shattered his most gold medals and most medals records for one Olympics? Mustache says, you can have your sharkskin suits, I don't mind a little drag. We don't want humility out of our mustaches, we want awesome. And Spitz delivers that with the power of swimmer on the downstroke part of the butterfly. Yeah, I'll stick with that one.

Note how tan I am, not like that jackass Michael Phelps.

Not only did I take your medals, I grew a mustache.


  1. And smoked weed. Hopefully not in a briar pipe. Looking forward to the next 9, and excited to see where Tom Sellek will be in the line up, and if it will be contingent upon his participation in the upcoming facial hair competition.


Post a Comment