I mean, you say that, but what would it look like if your wife were actually your queen?
Well, first off, you'd be a king. At least, I hope so. The Biblical calling within the family is not for a prince consort (a la Albert, prince consort to Victoria, with whom he had nine children). The call is for you to be fully king, and she fully queen. You the head, she the ruler of the household (the oikodespotein). You giving your life for hers, she working your will in your kingdom. In the household as in the cosmos, He in she and she in Him, He the head over all things but to her. You fully king and she fully queen, like Jesus and his bride.
She's your bae, she's your boo. She your queen.
When men believe that they are indeed the heads of their households, they usually have one of three reactions in how they treat their wives. They either treat her like a queen, like a queen, or like a queen. And two of those are wrong-headed.
The first choice, of course, is to treat her like a queen. In this scenario the husband treats her as a precious treasure to be pampered and guarded. This is also frequently seen in the "my daughter is a princess" form. Here the queen has no real power, but plays the same role a nice house or sweet car would: make their owner look good. But, as with the house and the car, so with the wife: they usually just end up illuminating the king's douchebaggery.
The second choice is to treat her like a queen. In this scenario the husband treats her like a figurehead. She is titularly the queen of the household, but in practice he makes all the decisions. If she gets new curtains, it is because he approved it. If she shops, it is because he directed her. If she gets a job, it is because he decided she should. Fear ends up ruling this household. The wife and kids are afraid to do anything lest they provoke his wrath, and he ends up being afraid that if he loses control he will lose his possessions: wife, kids, objects.
The third and final option is to treat her like a queen. In this scenario the queen is actually a queen. A dread queen. A great lady adorned in wisdom and majesty. She has power. She has responsibility. She guides. She steers. She rules the household, and her husband the king does not fear her, but loves her.
The woman is the glory of the man. Not when she is only his prize conquest. Not when she is simply an exhibit of how strong or organized he is. She is his glory when she is potent.
Are you the king of your house? Good. Your first and greatest responsibility is to empower your queen. To give her your life, to raise her up, to crown her. And that's more than words. That's giving her the keys. It might even mean giving her a sword.
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