You Know How You're Supposed To Study Your Wife? Here's A Sexy Game For That

It would be sad if you read this post as a humblebrag. I did something, mostly by accident, that I thought was so awesomesauce that I had to share it. That is how you should take it. That this thing was so cool that you guys have to do it too!

You know, oh The Giant fans, that I enjoy to play with words. I also enjoy to knowing the root words, and to breaking down the big words. It's all the fun.

So there I was, twiddling about the emptinesses of my mind, when I started thinking about my wife. After I'd thought about her for a while, I started thinking about her name, which led me to start thinking about the qualities of her name, such as its effanineffability, and I realized that because I know her names, including the one that only the cat herself knows, I know her best of all peoples in the world.

This creates a certain obligation, not only to study, but to express this study in praise.

Dudes. Here is what I have to tell you: I think I made a game you could use to study and praise your wife. And I Peter 3:7, so studying your wife is something you've got to do anyway.

Here are the steps to play:

1. If you do not already know, find out what your wife's name means. Break it down as far as possible. For example, Kimberly means Kimber's lee, which is a clearing or meadow. Kimber means king's burg or castle. One might, as I did, break it down to mean field at the king's castle. In order to have sufficient ammo for the next steps, you might have to use middle names, maiden names, or surnames. For example, Mary simple means bitter. You'd need a little more.

2. Connect the results from your wife's name to something important in her life, places, times, things, people, her story. To play this well, it is important that there be some complexity (not obscurity, mind you) to this step. Simply telling your wife Amanda that she is loved or loving is boring. You're just saying what her name means. If you watch the video above you will see how I connected each of the three words in Kimberly's name to her three sons.

3. Make something beautiful with this new thing. Write a poem, or a story, or a Facebook post. Maybe do a YouTube video, or write a song. Praise your wife as you elaborate on the elaborate beauty of her name and how much sense it makes in your lives.

4. Tell her/show her the beautiful thing. Also, tell/show the world.

And that's it! That's the game.

Now I definitely see how Kimberly's name might be easier than some other wifely names out there. Still, I've known what Kimberly's name means for almost twenty years now, and I'd never had the thought I did that day. Of course, I couldn't have until after all three boys had been born, so I went eight years without this particular piece of beauty, and it was always available to me. All that to say, explore this thing. You might find that there's something cool in it.

Have fun playing. Even if you don't finish it, it can be no waste of time to sit for a while thinking about your queen. It'll probably make you want to smooch her.