Turner-Batey Scale Measures If You Are Too Purty Fer Prison

A great kerfufflage is happening online because the father of a young man convicted of sexual assault wrote the judge a letter asking for lenience in sentencing. “His life will never be the one that he dreamed about and worked so hard to achieve. That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action out of his 20 plus years of life.” Yes, you read that correctly. Like I said, there was a great kerfufflage.

The judge appears to have agreed with the young man's father. Brock Turner faced fourteen years if convicted. Prosecution asked for six years. He was given six months plus probation. He will probably only spend three months in prison. The judge was worried that a harsher sentence might have "a severe impact on him".

Brock Turner went to Stanford, the Ivy League of the west. Last year four student athletes from Vanderbilt, the Ivy League of the south, were tried for rape. Two were tried and convicted before it was discovered that the jury foreman had been a victim of rape. Retrials were scheduled, and this April one was convicted again, while the trial of the second has begun. Although the gravity of the two assaults could be debated, the two cases include chemical influence and an unconscious victim. And, of course, they include the violation of the victim, whose dignity we would disdain if we insisted on the fine points of sexual assault.

I would like to compare Brock Turner to Corey Batey, the Vanderbilt athlete recently convicted. We can also throw in Brandon Vandenburg, the athlete currently on trial. This will be done in order to talk about what the judge in the Turner case meant when he said "a severe impact". We all know we're talking about prison rape here, right?

Corey Batey

Corey Batey looked like a lot of student athletes when he was arrested (photo 1). Maybe shading more toward "football player" than "golf team".

Dude got smart and got a haircut (photo 2).

Then he went to prison and refused to sign and register as a sex offender (photo 3).

Sport: football

Sex: male

Build: ripped/buff

Race: black

Skin: real dark

Eyes: chocolate brown; squinty

Hair: nappy

Facial hair: scary

Mouth shape: masculine

Impact of prison: Minimal. Basically looks like he belongs there. Won't cry himself to sleep at night. Might be running a cell block in a couple of years.

Brock Turner

This is Brock Turner's yearbook photo, because the Stanford P.D. (or as they prefer to be called, the Department of Public Safety), which along with other California law enforcement agencies normally releases mug shots, has decided not to in this case, citing some obscure government code. No mugshots available. A Google Image search should give you plenty of shots of a smiling Brockie-Brock.

Let's go down the line, shall we?

Sport: swimming

Sex: male

Build: sleek like a dolphin

Race: white

Skin: real pink

Eyes: gorgeous

Hair: strawberry blond

Facial hair: none; cherry-bright cheeks and dimples

Mouth shape: real purty

Impact of prison: hothouse flower; too pretty for prison.

All of this bears in a very interesting way on Brandon Vandenburg's case. He's accused of having participated in the same rape as Corey Batey. We have seen what a contrast there is in how the justice system handled Turner and Batey. I suggest that we can predict whether Vandenburg's sentence will be harsh or merely a slap on the wrist based on where he falls in the Turner-Batey Scale.

I haven't actually measured this out yet. What you're about to read is a "live take" as I apply the scale to Vandenburg. A score of 1 would be on the Turner end of the scale, while a score of 9 would be Batey. 5 would be a toss-up. And we must recall, this is not to decide the verdict, merely the sentence, based on likelihood of being raped in prison.

Brandon Vandenburg

Well, first off it's a bad sign verdict-wise that the police in Tennessee actually released a mugshot of the guy (photo 2). But let's get to the tale of the tape.

Sport: football (1 point)

Sex: male (1 point)

Build: ripped/buff (1 point)

Race: white, but hangs out with black people (.5 points)

Skin: not a precious pink, but pink

Eyes: chocolate brown, normal color for non-pretty whites

Hair: obvious gel, like a frat boy (.5 points)

Facial hair: none; chiseled jaw (.5 points)

Mouth shape: masculine (1 point)

Impact of Prison: won't run the cell block, but probably won't get raped (5.5 on the Turner-Batey Scale). If convicted, likely to be sentenced normally.


Of course, I actually have no idea what I'm talking about. According to articles like this or like this, any crimes of violence against women rank you low on the prison totem poll, and all sex offenders suffer the consequences of this. For all I know rapists built like college football players get beat up or shivved as much as skinny child molesters do. I have no idea. I get my info on prison culture from the same place you do: television.

The problem here is not the accuracy of the prison rape and prison culture perception. The problem is that sentences are being abrogated for some men because they look like they couldn't handle prison. And other men are bearing heavier sentences because they aren't as pretty in pink as others.