8 Ways My Wife & I Are Into Freaky Sexual Roleplay

WE ARE KINKY & WE WISH YOU'D LOVE US ANYWAY

My lover Kimberly and I live a sexual lifestyle that is exciting, dynamic, and fulfilling. Unfortunately we and others like us have sometimes been faced with contempt and ridicule because of our particular sexual propensities. Our sexual lifestyle is little-understood by today's culture and media, and even less accepted. But in this day and age, I like to think that our little kinks and bents are as valid any other. After all, are we not creating a sex-positive, open-minded, sexually tolerant society?

I want to give you, dear readers, a peek into our lives and our l'il bit freaky sexual choices. And if you're looking for a little adventure, looking to spice things up in your own sex life, maybe our choices can help you validate yours.

WE ARE INTO ROLEPLAYING

The principal thing is that we like to roleplay, beginning with foreplay. Actually, we like to begin from the moment we wake in the morning; we both immediately step into character in spiced-up anticipation of our days and nights together.

I play a "husband". My defining characteristic as a "husband" is that I take care of Kimberly. She makes me provide everything she needs throughout the day, whether they be routine or special favors. Even though she can take care of most of these things herself, the excitement for both of us lies in my playing this role to the hilt. I mean, I commit. I go all the way in.

Kimberly, my lover, plays a "wife". As a "wife" she cares for our children and home all day, which includes foxily homeschooling, steamily gardening, sultrily changing diapers, and bootyliciously producing goods for us to sell online.

You might not be familiar with this whole "husband"-"wife" formulation. Like many other forms of sexual expression and lifestyle, it is dual-role oriented. You have probably noticed, for example, that homosexual relationships tend to imitate and be defined by the male-female duality. Or you might have perceived that the thrill of the dominatrix role comes precisely from flipping male-female strength and power on its head. So it is with "husband" and "wife". Both parties behave as if they were designed in their very natures to interact with each other in particular ways.

WHAT WE DO WHEN WE GET FREAKY

Here are some of the freaky-deaky things we like to do to each other:

1. She likes to watch me love myself. That's right. My lover likes to lie there and watch me love on myself (♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ...when I think about you...). This fits right into the roleplaying. "Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." (Eph. 5:28) So I love on my lover, and in this way love myself. This arrangement has the tight elegance that roleplayers look for.

2. We like to boss each other around. "The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does." (1 Cor. 7:3-4) My lover tells me what to do, and I tell her what to do. "Please" is a formality. This is particularly true of sex, which is what the passage above is about. We get to tell each other when we're having sex, because we have authority over each other's bodies.

3. We only "husband"-"wife" with each other, but we tell other people about how sexually satisfying these roles are with the zeal of vegans or cross-fitters. "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled..." (Hebrews 13:4) Guys, it's the way to go. It may seem a little unorthodox at first, but y'all will get into it.

4. I interact with her as if I were Jesus and she the Bride of Christ. And she submits to me as if she were the Bride of Christ and I were Jesus. (Eph. 5:22-24) The thrilling part about this one is how scary it is. This is where people who get off on danger are going to really love this kind of roleplaying. Is it more frightening for her because she has to jump off the cliff into the arms of someone she knows is not capable of catching her? Or is it more frightening for me because she's jumping off the cliff and I know I'm going to drop her? Danger, y'all. This "husband"-"wife" thing is a sexual adventure.

5. She likes to call me Lord and obey me. She likes to have a gentle and a quiet spirit. Because, you know, it was good enough for Sarah... (1 Peter 3:1-7)

6. She likes to win me over to the gospel by her winsome conduct. "Even if some do not obey the word, they may be won by the conduct of their wives..." (1 Peter 3:1-2)

7. I like to study my wife so that I can pray. If I show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, my prayers will not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

8. Finally, we're super into bondage. "So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." (Col. 3:12-14) Forgiveness and the fruit of the Holy Spirit create a perfect bond. We're chained to each other for life, and it's oh so sexy.

THIS IS NOT THE ONLY WAY...

...but it is the best way. Come on, y'all. Do we not see that every sexual sin is a perversion of this? (I am very far from only talking about homosexuality right now.) Male and female he made us, then he told us how to do it. He himself took one wife and he loved her and died for her. The only thing that stands in our way in doing the same is that business about sin and the fall. But Jesus rose unto new life for us, and we have the Holy Spirit. We can do this crazy ridiculous difficult thing. It is what we were made to do.

Get thee home and give a gospel snogg to thy wife.