Saturday, May 2, 2015

Fundies Get Upset With Cheaters

So I grabbed the image below off of Stuff Fundies Like. I live in one of three national epicenters for King-James-only-ism in this country. This -ism is a silly idea, although not for the reasons most think. (ooh, mysterious) I love the King James so very much, and it grieves me that these clowns would try to ruin it for us, but there it is.


The defining traits of (King James dispy legalist) fundamentalists I've interacted with are fear, power, and competition. And lo, it is through these things that this publisher offers hope, as listed in the advertisement above. Objections are big and nasty. Scary, even. People are mean and sarcastic to you, but with our publication you can be mean and nasty back, and with a chuckle! You'll crush your enemies so thoroughly, you'll end up feeling sorry for them. YOU WIN!

Fundamentalists are passionate card and board game players (although not regular cards, they have to use different ones for reasons that are only obvious to the holy). This is not only because games are innocuous fun that won't get you in trouble. It is because nothing relaxes a fundamentalist more than being able to retreat from a world that will not be controlled by rules to one that will. And nothing satisfies a fundamentalist more than being the best at operating within these rules.

They then leave their games of rook and go back to the real world, which is fearfully full of cheaters (other Christians) who refuse to even acknowledge the rules. And nothing could be more mortifying than losing an argument to one of the cheaters. So buy this book that not only Explains but conveniently Resolves the Bible Version Controversy, and you'll never be ashamed again. At least, not about that one particular rule.

3 comments:

  1. KJV-onlyism is so very american. Nothing like it here in Germany.
    I have to admit I don' t understand it and find the whole debate at the same time scary and laughable.

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    1. Don't you know that the King's English is one of the divine tongues, like Greek or Latin? :-)

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