Thursday, August 7, 2014
Some Guy Tried To Half-Ass Breakfast
So homeboy over at Mark's Daily Apple: Primal Living In The Modern World calls these things Mini Breakfast Meatloaves. That's some pretty primal living. Pork, beef, egg. Done.
Except not done. Something's wrong here, isn't it? This dish is supposed to be served with "Primal Ketchup" and a side of bacon. First of all, ketchup is never primal. Secondly, if eggs wrapped in beef and pork need a side of bacon, you're doing it wrong. I will never say no to bacon, but it in this case it can't be "bacon on the side". No, sir. I am eating these eggs, and I am also eating bacon. Sides finish a dish, but bacon does not finish this. It only emphasizes its shortcomings.
This dish need something. It needs to stop lying to itself. Mini Breakfast Meatloves with Primal Ketchup? Pshaw. It is but a pale shadow of what it ought to be.
There is something wrong with these Mini Breakfast Meatloaves with Primal Ketchup. Something unholy. You've probably already figured out what it is: they are not scotch eggs.
Scotch eggs already exist, o primal living. It is one civilization's greatest achievement. In fact, if you prepare Mini Breakfast Meatloaves with Primal Ketchup you will be half-assing two of the most sacred things on God's green earth: breakfast and scotch eggs. Also bacon. Bacon deserves your best efforts.
A scotch egg is a boiled egg wrapped in sausage, then breaded and deep fried. That is the only whole-assed way to approach wrapping eggs in ground meat. And if we're going to add bacon, let's keep the whole-ass rolling. Bacon. Wrapped. Scotch eggs. Correct.