The Beatitudes of Beer

This is the red letter edition of the beatitudes of beer. Cheers and prost!

And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

O pilsner, thou art poor in spirit, yet thou providest refreshment on hot summer days, and art a gateway unto the world of ales.


“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

O imperial stout, thy history is dark, and thy heart as black as my griefs. Yet thy malts they comfort me, and thy high ABV soothes me.


“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."

O gentle cream ale, thou art mild, malted, and modest. Thou vauntest not thyself up with the ambition of hops, nor seekest to exhalt thyself as some barleywines. Even so in thy sipping are golden riches.


“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."

When both hungry and thirsty, o oatmeal stout, the wise procure thy sure satisfaction. Thy roasted malts feed the famished soul, thy silky mouthfeel quench the sere heart.


“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy."

O trappist ale, thou art not exactly a style, but thy mercies extend unto many Belgian styles. Thy brettanomyces are from generation to generation, and thy dubbels unto all mankind, even to these United States, which are the ends of the earth.


“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

O English bitter, thy blessed simplicity is transport divine, and through thy cask conditioning and light carbonation we see God in the everyday.


“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

Thou art a complex style, o farmhouse ale, and thy characterful balances bring peace to our table. Thou art a little dry, or perhaps a little sweet. Thou hast yeasty earth tones, yet art occasionally tart. In thee all these meet and find peace.


“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

O India Pale Ale, no one likes thy rabid followers, and for thy sake they are mocked all the day long. Yet in thy big citrus and comely bitterness are joy.


“And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

Thank you, Lord Jesus.

Comments

Popular Posts