Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Babies Will Destroy Your Life (Kind of Like HIV)

Lovers Plus condoms in South Africa are encouraging customers to "protect your dreams". Because babies destroy lives.

Babies will take away your dream vacation.


Babies will let you buy that muscle car you always dreamed about, then SMASH IT AND YOUR DREAMS with their tiny baby feet.


Babies also take away your chance to get the corner office. Stupid babies.


Lovers Plus, by the way, is a non-profit NGO that operates like a for-profit. It is owned by the Society for Family Health in South Africa, which uses profits from sales to fund "health initiatives" particularly concerned with HIV prevention. But lest you doubt that it is positions itself as a competitive brand, behold:
The Lovers Plus brand has attained consistent growth since its launch in 1993, primarily as a result of the application of successful marketing and advertising strategies. Lovers Plus is positioned as a fun, affordable, high-quality condom for adults who have high self-esteem, are ambitious and stylish. The price point has also assisted in positioning the brand as a quality product in the consumers’ mind.
That price point comment means it's not the cheapest condom on the market. It's a relatively top-shelf product, as much as condoms can be. This breathy radio ad in Afrikaans demonstrates that simply by being in Afrikaans, a white-people language in South Africa.

If we accept that sexual promiscuity is inevitable, and babies undesirable, why not harness the power of sex to save people from themselves? Let the purchasers of Lovers Plus, who are worried about convertibles, or at least want to be the sort of people who worry about convertibles, pay for saving Africa from AIDS.

Never mind that the solution to AIDS/HIV is marriage and faithfulness. That's like saying Jesus is the answer to the HIV crisis, and that won't do at all. I suppose we should be grateful these aren't ads for abortions. The culture of promiscuity and the culture of death are one and the same, saying peace peace when there is no peace.

They are also, by the way, extremely misogynistic.

Lastly, this.

 

2 comments:

  1. Wow. I lived in South Africa for 23 years, I've never heard of these people. And that add would shock most of the white Afrikaans speaking people I know/ knew associated with. It's kind of terrible. That is a perfectly innocent folk song. Unless you sing it like That.

    The adds for illegal abortions doesn't shock me unfortunately. Those fake doctors are everywhere. They offer penis enhancements, narrowing of vaginas, finding a husband and cursing services too amongst other things. They also claim that you can prevent the transmission of HIV by showering after sex. Or that you can cure AIDS by raping virgins. So,,,, yeah. The lovely department of Health forces that medical aids to pay for those evil witch doctors. They literally call themselves Sangoma or witch doctor. The minister of health when I was in high school swore you could cure AIDS by eating garlic and beetroot. It's a mess... South Africa has lots of "progressive" laws. But none of them get enforced. They also have most of the first world problems along with most of the third world problems.

    Do you mean the people who made the economics of sex video is misogynistic? Or that the idiots who claim that the sexual revolution is somehow good for women are misogynistic?

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    1. I mean the latter: the idiots who claim that the sexual revolution is somehow good for women are misogynistic.

      "Most of the first world problems along with most of the third world problems"...well put. Cheers!

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