Bartenders Must Wear Gloves?!

Oh alas alack ah well-a-day!

And woe is me and woe is thee that it is come to this.

Bartenders in L.A. must wear gloves to make their cocktails. (Just as scandalously, sushi chefs must also wear gloves.)

Chefs aren't the only ones affected by a new food safety law that bans culinary workers from touching certain foods with their bare hands. Like chefs, bartenders have to wear gloves or use other utensils to make their drinks. No touching ice, fruit garnishes or anything else that goes directly into your glass.

This is especially harmful to hipsters, given the "mixologist" revolution. One bartender talked about being handicapped in his palpitation of persimmons.

"I'm always touching any kind of herbs from my garden, touching persimmons to feel for their plumpness or softness. But the gloves thing, even when I go to buffets and see it, I flinch a little and think 'hospital.'"

I, for one, enjoy it when humans make my drink. I don't flip out if the bartender touches the rim of my glass, and I think people who do are silly. Wash your hands and then bless me with your human skin oils.

Latex gives me the creeps.

I take some comfort in knowing that at least my drink of choice won't require gloves. After all, there can't be many garnishes in a whiskey neat, can there?

You don't have to wear gloves to put in the lime. You could use tongs.