So Many Reasons Women Love Beards

I asked the women on my Facebook page to tell me why they like beards. I got six whole responses, which I'm pretty pleased with, given the nature of my base (when my YouTube viewers went over 4% female, I was ecstatic). Six is a big enough sample that I think we can draw some pretty universal conclusions.

Here are a few reasons women want their mate to be bearded.

It feels good.

Yes. It feels good. And any woman who knows this has dared to cross an uncertain frontier. Accepted wisdom seems to be that beards are scratchy. Have you looked at a beard lately? They're not scratchy. Shadow and grizzle are scratchy, but full-on beard is downy soft, especially when you're dealing with half-inch plus of length. So snuggly-wuggly.

Just as I urge men to grow out past the "itchy" stage, I will urge the ladies to push past the "scratchy" phase. Downy soft glories await.

Check out the beautiful couple in the background of this scene.

Your man won't look like a baby.

Women don't want their men to look like children. And without their beards, some men do.

Few are the humans who have seen my chin. Therefore few are the humans who know that my chin is weak. Beard makes me look strong.

Not only does the beard make strong the chin, it defines the jawline. As one of the ladies said, mustache alone doesn't quite cut it. She needs her a beard. For that strong look.

By the way, men, this means that if your beard is not epic, you should maintain it carefully. Define that line. But don't fall into the Mario Batali fatbeard trap. That would be truly terrible. If you're all neck, let the beard bloom a little.
No! Bad!
Your man looks like he can take care of stuff. Like himself. And you. And your progeny.

A recent study suggested what you already know: "Our findings confirm that beardedness affects judgments of male socio-sexual attributes and suggest that an intermediate level of beardedness is most attractive while full-bearded men may be perceived as better fathers who could protect and invest in offspring."

Clean-shaven men were rated least-attractive. Therefore we conclude: boyfriends should have cute beards, which befits their age, and husbands full beards, also age and status appropriate.

Women like it when their men look like they can do man work.

Not sure this is what we were going for.
Bearded man has also shown, by the simple act of growing a beard, that he doesn't care what others think. He's going to be the one to handle it. The man with the beard is the man in charge, even if he's not the boss.

Speaking of taking care of business, your man looks like he could beat somebody up.

Women appreciate a man who can protect them. Now big or little doesn't matter much, but manly does. A husband must be manly; he must be strong, virile, and willing to fight.

Men have to assume that mantle, though, it's not automatically how they are (how well we know that). Short-cut indicator of manliness? The beard.

Women like to show off their man's beard.

Given what we've already mentioned in this article, the man's beard ends up being the lady's accessory as well. As she walk down the street holding her man's hand, she says to onlookers, "Hey, y'all check out my manly man. My man takes care of business, and I am that business."

That's sexy, y'all.

In conclusion, this cartoon.


  1. Good thing my chin will be covered up again after this month!



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