How To Become An Abusive Parent

Yelling at kids could be just as harmful as physical discipline, study suggests.

That makes me want to suggest something else entirely, and just as politely as the non-yellers and non-spankers at Huffington Post. And that's after I state a simple fact, which is that out there in the great pagan world the jury is still out on spanking, so don't talk like that's been settled.

Here's my suggestion: perhaps yelling at kids is more harmful than physical discipline.

There are parents who beat their children. Those are wicked parents.

There are many parents who constantly yell, nag, manipulate, cajole, lie, scream, and rage at their children. Those are wicked parents too.

Where do you think beating your children comes from? Is it from sending your child to go pick out a switch? Or is it from flipping out on your child every time he trespasses because you know the only way you have of controlling his bad behavior is to scare the heebies out of him?

The rage that it would take to beat your child comes from the heart, from the same place the parental lying and anger come from. Kids, as all therapists know, can be abused all their lives without having a hand laid on them.

Physical child abuse lies on the same path that screaming at your children does. We've all screamed at our kids, but we must repent of that, and when we do, apologize to our children as well. Because by it we put their souls in danger, we murder them with our words.

I would suggest that we have a generation of bully-parents on our hands. They must bully their children because they will not discipline them.

Discipline in any form is by definition a virtue, and has no part of bullying or beating.

Don't come at me comparing "physical discipline" with "yelling". They're beasts of different stripes. One is of order and peace, the other of selfishness and anger. And only one leads to physical abuse.

What comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person.


  1. I agree. "Physical discipline" which I take to mean spanking is a far cry from beating. Telling your kid you are displeased even in a loud voice is not at all the same is calling names, attacking character and losing it. People seem to have a very hard time getting the distinction.

    Speaking of distincions: why do you call it the pagan world as opposed to heathen? My impression is that they are not the same things. Worshippers of ancestral spirits, Nature worshippers and polytheists are pagans. Heathens simply do not know God. Which seems to be more applicable to our culture. Specially if you are talking about the Huffington Post. Or am I way of base here?

    1. Although you are describing the correct use of "pagan", I like to use the word whenever I want to inject some purpose and malevolence into the idea of godlessness. A heathen doesn't know God; a pagan has his gods, and hates the Triune God of Scripture.

      I don't limit the word to worshippers of Thor or rainbow fairies.

    2. I see. So you use it as a deliberate rhetorical device. Like in your post about midwifes becoming witches and the priesthood of scientism that shuts down comments on Popular Science and refuses to allow any debate on global warming.

      Thank you for that clarification!


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