Most Annoying Tall Comment I Get

I'm 6'9". I weigh over 300 pounds. I've heard all the tall jokes.

I often challenge people to come up with a tall joke I haven't heard, reward $5. I've never paid out. Most of them I put up with cheerfully. After all, I know that I'm amazing. You come up to my armpit. I get it.

But there's one comment I can't stand. And it bothers me most when it comes from women.

It's this, or a variant thereof: "Wow. You're so big. You could just 'paf!' bash me on top of the head and I'd be out!" Seriously. People say that all the time. Which just makes me feel like doing exactly what is being suggested. I'm a nice guy, why would you even say that?

You people are going to drive me to violence.


  1. In my search for a tall joke, I continue to come up short. That's a tall request. (I tried).

    1. It was a good attempt. Originality points for combining those two lines, but ultimately you failed (I would have said "came up short", but I couldn't muster the courage).

  2. Is that a pipe in your mouth or are you growing branches?

  3. Easy there, Mutombo.
    And would you clean out my gutters while you're up there?

  4. A cathartic joke for a guy tired of hearing “tall” jokes:

    A snarky dude walks out of a bar and bumps into a tall guy. He looks up with a smirk and says, “Wow. You’re so tall, I’m dying from your B.O-OH WHAT ARE YOU PLEASENOI’MsAWRy… *crack*.”

    “Wow! You’re so short, got bones to pick my teeth with… fee fi fo fum you frumpy bastard, “said the tall guy picking his tooth with a collar bone as he walked into the bar.


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