Will Swanson Fall Ill in 2012?

Ron Swanson is a hero to many. The mustachioed maven of meat and 'merican manliness is, for me, the chief attraction of watching Parks & Recreation (notwithstanding the unrelenting cheery winsomeness of the Knope character).

A couple of posts back (James Bond's Favorite Eggs) I embedded a video compilation of Swanson eating his Turf n' Turf, which consisted of a 16oz t-bone and a 240z porterhouse, accompanied by scrambled eggs, whiskey, and a cigar. All of this, of course, consumed at once.

If you're unfamiliar with the character, this clip sums him up.

Much has been made on the show of Swanson's dietary and drinking habits. It's become something of a cultural phenomenon with a momentum of its own. Season five of the show premieres in September of 2012, and I'm afraid the Ron Swansonness of Ron Swanson has reached a point where the writers of the show might feel they have to introduce some sort of health crisis into the character's life.

That's my prediction. Parks & Rec has made a lot of hay with Swanson's unapologetic embrace of all things testosteroney; his only weakness is his women. Will they have the courage to continue writing his hilarious philosophies and appetites as they are, or will they make the man suffer a heart attack? I would be amazed if the artists behind the show managed to continue prioritizing their art over their stricken social consciences.

Actually, I have no idea if their social consciences are actually stricken. But come on, this is TV. Someone with enough power is going to make sure all the viewers know that if you sin against the god of living-as-long-as-possible, you must pay for your sins.

Sure hope I'm wrong.