Boilerplate reminder: there has been a good bit of chatter about this series going on, through email, facebook, etc. The overwhelming majority of the responses have been positive. However, agree or disagree with me or the guest posters, I do want to repeat a point I made in the original post for this series. We're talking about what these Christians believe is best. How many Christians actually manage to do what is best? By the very nature of the way I've asked the questions, these men have succeeded (to one degree or another) where others have failed. Not one of them will not confess that this is by God's grace alone. Nobody's is saying anybody here is better than anybody else. They are saying that obeying God is better than disobeying, and they're sorting that out. But without any of the wishy-washiness that masquerades as piety these days. So please don't be offended.
Robert Privette is a web-developer at Footstone, and lead singer for Six Days From Sunday. He was also Joffre's best man.
Q: You were a virgin until you married. How old were you at that time?
I was twenty.
Q: If a [Christian] man is not a virgin when he marries, how big a deal is that?
As many issues as my wife and I worked through early in our marriage, I don't think that non-virginity would have been an insurmountable hurdle. As many things as I have been forgiven for, I also don't think that it would have been a spiritual death blow. That said, in our relationship, trust has been paramount. I'm thankful that we weren't faced with the additional challenge of working through past sexual relationships. I imagine it's tough.
Q: I’ve noticed that people have a hard time believing a young man could stay a virgin by choice. That is, that sex is impossible to resist for any length of time. I’m sure that it was difficult, but how difficult was it, really? What kind of struggle was it?
I think it would have been more difficult to only have sex once. Naivety isn't generally considered a desired trait, but happy ignorance is a great friend of virginity (you can't miss what you don't know). The challenge was to stay away from the boundaries instead of getting as close as possible. Fences are no match for speeding cars. I've never been good at saying no in the heat of the moment.
Q: You must be some kind of wuss. So must other “wait ’til we’re married” guys. What do you say to that?
I'm hot. Ask my wife.
Q: What good did staying a virgin until marriage do you?
There's something wonderful about the pursuit. Heart-stopping romantic love flourishes before the conquest. I got really good at loving my wife. We're each other's first, best and only. There is no comparison, no guilt, no secret, no wondering. She knows that the Voice I heeded before our marriage is the same one that now tells me to keep our bed holy and to lay down my life for my wife.
Q: How would you say it impacted your marriage? your sex life?
Marriage is great! Sex is great! (t-shirt anyone?) It's hard to imagine the intimacy, the oneness, I have with my wife if I had given little bits of my heart and body to other girls along the way.
Robert Privette is a web-developer at Footstone, and lead singer for Six Days From Sunday. He was also Joffre's best man.
Q: You were a virgin until you married. How old were you at that time?
I was twenty.
Q: If a [Christian] man is not a virgin when he marries, how big a deal is that?
As many issues as my wife and I worked through early in our marriage, I don't think that non-virginity would have been an insurmountable hurdle. As many things as I have been forgiven for, I also don't think that it would have been a spiritual death blow. That said, in our relationship, trust has been paramount. I'm thankful that we weren't faced with the additional challenge of working through past sexual relationships. I imagine it's tough.
Q: I’ve noticed that people have a hard time believing a young man could stay a virgin by choice. That is, that sex is impossible to resist for any length of time. I’m sure that it was difficult, but how difficult was it, really? What kind of struggle was it?
I think it would have been more difficult to only have sex once. Naivety isn't generally considered a desired trait, but happy ignorance is a great friend of virginity (you can't miss what you don't know). The challenge was to stay away from the boundaries instead of getting as close as possible. Fences are no match for speeding cars. I've never been good at saying no in the heat of the moment.
Q: You must be some kind of wuss. So must other “wait ’til we’re married” guys. What do you say to that?
I'm hot. Ask my wife.
Q: What good did staying a virgin until marriage do you?
There's something wonderful about the pursuit. Heart-stopping romantic love flourishes before the conquest. I got really good at loving my wife. We're each other's first, best and only. There is no comparison, no guilt, no secret, no wondering. She knows that the Voice I heeded before our marriage is the same one that now tells me to keep our bed holy and to lay down my life for my wife.
Q: How would you say it impacted your marriage? your sex life?
Marriage is great! Sex is great! (t-shirt anyone?) It's hard to imagine the intimacy, the oneness, I have with my wife if I had given little bits of my heart and body to other girls along the way.
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