Punching John Lennon In The Face

Gasp! I said these words about a music martyr! Bite my tongue!

Let it be known that this post is vitriol contra a certain type of person, of which Lennon is the archon.

The truth is, if I went back in time and met John Lennon at a party, I wouldn't punch him in the face. I'm only admitting that I would want to. I would definitely grab a drink and hover near his circle for a while, listening to what he had to say. Then I guess I'd leave the apartment, go out into the street, and find the nearest pub, where I could hang out with some reasonable people.

It's not that Lennon was a radical, which he certainly was. Radically anti-Christian, in particular. (This is why my Lennon-hatred spikes this time of year; "Imagine" and all his platitudes about XMas start popping up all over the web.) It's that he was a prig. "Imagine" isn't just an atheist anthem, it's a dick move. It's written self-referentially, for the choir, to the in-crowd. It's as much about being superior as it is about anything else. And yes, it gets me that so many people who say they're Christians love the song. Pay attention, people.

Dude was a prig. A dick. An asshole. There's a special dislike reserved for snobs that not even man-slayers receive, and I point that dislike at Lennon. Behold this motivational little quote, meant to bring us great joy.

Let's imagine what this little kid was like. A little boy who must have been the despair of his teachers. A little boy who knew what was meant by the question, and had a little fun with the answer. Okay, fine. But then a little boy who doesn't just smile and do it right the next time. A little boy who says "I'm better than all of you." Nice.

Every time I see his face in profile, impressive nose jutting out beneath his trademark round glasses, I wonder why no one ever broke his nose.


  1. But how will the cool kids know we're cool if we don't like their heros?

  2. More, more! Keep the rant going!

  3. What Chris said.

    And check out:

    and perhaps:

  4. OH good. I'm not the only one who wants to throw up every time I hear that song. It makes me think of 1984 with syrup poured all over it. Maybe with glitter sprinkles. Yuck.


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