Review of Southern Tier's Pumking

 'T'ain't a bad beer at all. Not a-tall. Tastes lahk nana's punkin pah.

Or some like that, expressed in some equally clumsy and stereotypical regional accent. It's time to hit pumpkin beers. This week alone I've had three, and I rejoice! Sadly, this was the one I enjoyed the least...although maybe that effect was increased because I expected to enjoy it the most. Southern Tier's IPA is the stuff of legend, and every other beer of theirs I've had has been tasty.

Alas that this one is too tasty. I strolled into Rhythm n' Brews in downtown Greer, South Carolina. Surprisingly, they only had one Magic Hat beer on tap (the woman who orders the beer there is in love with Magic Hat; they gave her a prize for selling the most in the state). They always have a couple of domestic light beers on tap, since it is a rock n' roll bar. But they also always have four more interesting beers available on their remaining taps.

As soon as the beer was presented to me, I could smell the pumpkin spice (that makes you think Starbucks, doesn't it? Not far off...) with a huge caramel note. The mouthfeel is big and heavy, leaving a semi-permanent coating on the roof of the mouth. The finish is very round, with no cleansing crispness, so that the sweetness lingers a bit heavily. I'd like to say that there's some complexity, but really it tastes exactly like pumpkin pie. I would guess that it's artificially flavored; if it's not, the Southern Tier brewers are geniuses who made a serious error of judgment. This beer was straight-up difficult to get through. I did drink it all, though. Of course.