The Woes of Pipe Envy

Dunhill ad pipe found here.
We've all experienced pipe envy at some point, when we realized that the pipes we valued so much were cheaper, smaller, of a lesser name, less well-crafted, and generally crappier than that other guy's pipe.

Although I suppose there's one man somewhere in the world who will never suffer from pipe envy, since he in fact has the best pipe collection extant. We may never know who this man is, but if I've examined the factors that play into fine pipe ownership correctly, we can determine that he's a single childless homosexual tenured presbyterian professor. With a penchant for growing facial hair.

Here's a great little video on the woes of pipe envy.