Wax Thy Mustache, Sir

There's some beeswax tucked into the bathroom drawer which I pull out for special occasions. The stuff smells great, washes well, and makes the hair at least feel like it has a rich body (exercising with the remnants of wax in the goatee is the closest I've come to feeling the biblical "ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard", which is something I definitely want to experience before I die).

Some dudes wax all the time. Those dudes are, of course, epicly awesome. They are also, in all likelihood, asses. Since you are probably not fully either, or better put, only a little of each, you should consider waxing occasionally, as I do. It's so good, dude. Men will envy you your swagger, and women will appreciate the conversation piece you brought along (and sure, some will be freaked out; think of your mustache as a cover charge, keeping the undesirables away).

You will need to have hair long enough to wax, but if you have a meddling-length beard, you're good to go. Let the long mustache tips blend in to the body of the beard until you choose to bring them to their full glory, as pictured below.

If anyone wants to send me pictures of fantastic coiffes, moustaches, and beards, zap me a message. I'd love to post 'em.


  1. Hmmmm...

    I might have to consider waxing the ol' stash. I wonder how it would be received at the all girl's high school where I work.

    Anywho, summer is winding down and it is time to regrow the winter beard. I am currently sporting a shorter summer version of my facial plumage.

    Time to grow a more epic swath of hair on the chin.

    BTW, where can one purchase some of that wonderful wax?

  2. I love the winter beard, dude!

    I'm pretty sure I bought the wax at a local CVS or Walgreens...that's the beauty of living in the South. National drugstores even sell corncob pipes!

    You should be able to find some online, if not at a mall near you...you know, a mall for gaijin.

  3. Wow, you really fit the criteria for waxing. Who knew being epically awesome and an ass would serve you so well?

  4. I found some of this stuff in my bathroom when I was a kid.It was my godfather's wax. He was the opposite of me, he could grow a mustache like in two days. but his beard always came out patchy and just ugly, I'm just the opposite. He consequently always had tubs of this stuff to go with his absolutely perfect mustache!


Post a Comment