Wax Thy Mustache, Sir

There's some beeswax tucked into the bathroom drawer which I pull out for special occasions. The stuff smells great, washes well, and makes the hair at least feel like it has a rich body (exercising with the remnants of wax in the goatee is the closest I've come to feeling the biblical "ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard", which is something I definitely want to experience before I die).

Some dudes wax all the time. Those dudes are, of course, epicly awesome. They are also, in all likelihood, asses. Since you are probably not fully either, or better put, only a little of each, you should consider waxing occasionally, as I do. It's so good, dude. Men will envy you your swagger, and women will appreciate the conversation piece you brought along (and sure, some will be freaked out; think of your mustache as a cover charge, keeping the undesirables away).

You will need to have hair long enough to wax, but if you have a meddling-length beard, you're good to go. Let the long mustache tips blend in to the body of the beard until you choose to bring them to their full glory, as pictured below.

If anyone wants to send me pictures of fantastic coiffes, moustaches, and beards, zap me a message. I'd love to post 'em.