An Ode to Obscure Military History

Josef Mengele was so afraid of getting caught by bounty hunters in Brazil that he would bite off the tips of his mustache. Eventually, a hairball grew in his intestines that nearly killed him. Actually, considering the experiments Mengele did in the concentration camps, it would have been his just desserts.

Nevertheless, I rise to warn my fellow goateed Triumvirs. Take heed that thou chewest not on thy mustache.