Nick Knows Peyote Is A Southwestern Thing

Nick Dunn's preferred way to be martyred is as follows

He would like to be surrounded by five hundred Mohawks, all whooping and hollering and dancing up a storm. At that time he's tied to a spit, like in Return of the Jedi with the Ewoks (he calls the Star Wars thing Marterific Sycretism, but I don't think he really knows what "syncretic" means). Nick would demand the occasional lash, but not so many that he would go into shock. Eventually, as the Mohawks worked themselves into a peyote-induced euphoria, he would be dipped in a kiddie pool full of vinegar, into which he'd be dipped after particularly deep lashes had been inflicted. Eventually he'd be flayed.

Nick tells me that the Native American Church of North America serves communion that consists of peyote and tea, which increases the high from the peyote. He wouldn't say it's transubstantiation, but maybe it's a real real presence. He got that from a Okaloosa-Walton Community College class he took 8 years ago. This was according to a professor who was a Reverend of something or other, and performed many weddings beachside.

I am writing this from The Oxford Coffee Co., in the Christian Study Center o' Gainesville. Nick is the barista. Meanwhile, Billy Glass walks in, having just returned from his band's punk show. He is wearing, and was wearing during the show, khaki pants and a fratty jersey. But no worries, the band may have been punk, but the audience wasn't. Perhaps Billy's wardrobe was appropriate...or maybe not. The kids were emo.

Coffeeshops...ah, the salad days of my youth.