Alligator Samegator

From the illustrious Florida Independent Alligator comes a tale of love and hand-holding: Bisexuals Look For Equality. This week is People Awareness Week at the University of Florida, and certainly my people-dar has been beeping like crazy. Of course, we know that weekdays are named after pagan gods, and yesterday in People Awareness Week was Same-Sex Handholding Day. “Heteros hold hands. Why can’t homos? Or bi’s?” asked Estelle Morley, an English junior. Poor Estelle...doesn't she know that homos have it easy when compared to bisexuals? Yes. The article has not made it online yet, but in 1/27's Alligator Pride Student Union president Allison Andrews reports to us that bisexuals suffer discrimination from both the hetero and homo camps (I say hetero because it's just another sort of perversion, see here). Surprising no one, she tells us that "Homosexuals kind of look at [bisexual behavior] as sleeping with the enemy." What?! We're not in this for our sexual gratification? We're in it for the relationships, you say? And bis must be undermining this...?

"Bisexuality" and "homosexuality" are always defined as who you're "attracted" to. What is a homosexual lifestyle but a life style that is sexual?


The above was tripe.

The below is trite.

As for marriage, well...a marriage won't go anywhere without sex, but a car has lots of parts it needs to move. One of those parts by itself ain't going to get you nowhere.

I think that we should ride our bikes

Up and down the avenue.

We shall see a parade of dikes

Packing paddles, but no canoe.


It feels sort of empty to say it at this spot, but only a life of service can be gratifying, and even sex should be in service. And it goes without saying (here, at least) that the only selfless service possible is to the Creator. Lord, have mercy.