A King-James-Only Parable

The Master went into a town which was near unto a Bible college.

And early in the morning he came again into a coffee shop whilst wearing a clerical collar, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.

And the scribes and Fundamentalists brought unto him a Bible translated in the 20th century; and when they had set it in the midst,

They say unto him, Master, this Bible was seen being translated from The Critical Text, in the very act.

Now Peter Ruckman's law commanded us, that such should be burned: but what sayest thou?

This they said, trying him, that they might get him to condemn the KJV as out-of-date and irrelevant and have with which to accuse him. But the Master openeth the Splenda packets upon the table, as though he heard them not.

So when they continued asking him, he lifted himself up, and in the dust of the Splenda were arranged the words of the tenor's first part in Handel's Messiah. And he sayeth unto them, He that hath actually listened to Handel's Messiah may have an opinion about the KJV, and unto him I will hearken and actually debate.

And again he sat down, and sipped his coffee.

And they which heard it, being convicted by their own hatred of beauty, went back one by one to their Bible college, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and the Master was left alone, and the modern Bible left on the table.

And the Master openeth his backpack and pulleth out his KJV, which is his favorite translation, and resumeth his reading.


  1. Good thing the Luther 1545 crowd is miniscule in Germany. As if we didn´t have other problems!

    1. I mean, there aren't THAT many in the States, but I'm sure more than there are 1545ers in Germany. There are even people who think it best to translate the KJV into other languages!

    2. I know. That is a very strange kind of thinking! And verrry close to idolatry in my opinion.

    3. I certainly think it is. And this from a group that insists the Pope is the antichrist because of Roman Catholic idolatry. Romans use statues but these guys use an idea.

  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ml-zV3WwJDU

    1. Hi Rod. That's the very version I was watching this past weekend!


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