O Christian, Watch Your Tongue

Watch out, boys and girls. The f-word and other bombs might be dropped in the text below. You may give thanks to good God, though, that no blasphemy is engaged in. By me.

O lads and lasses, how I wish you would watch your fucking tongues.

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I work at a corporate coffee shop equipped with a drive-through. The store does nearly a million and a half a year, so it's pretty busy. I had two experiences recently in drive-through, and had a conversation with one of my sons this past Saturday, that has the use of "foul" language at the front of my mind.

The other day a rugby buddy of mine came through drive-through. We don't have a face-cam, so I didn't know who I was talking to. I did the standard greeting, and got a blast back over my headset that all three of the other workers wearing head-sets heard too: "Swait, you fucking asshole, I didn't know they let fucking fuck-ups like you work in this place!" I laughed and insulted him back, albeit using cleaner language. The woman working next to me was absolutely shocked, so I had to tell her, "It's all right, this is one of my rugby buddies." I wasn't offended at all. My only thought was, it didn't occur to this asshole (my friend) that there'd be mixed company listening in on our talk. He figured it out, of course, when he got to the window and my co-worker gave him the old evil eye.

I use coarser language than most American Christians believe is permissible, because I believe that many of our conventions are prudish and precious, and not actually righteous. I can't stand the evangelical "crap" instead of "shit", for example. I would not speak the way my friend did, but I was not at all offended. I've tended bar, I've been around the rugby lads. A sentence like "fuck the fucking fuckers" fazes me not at all. I'd tell someone to shut up if he were talking like that in mixed company, or in any company if he claimed to be a Christian. But I'm not going to get my panties all in a twist.

You know what does get my panties all in a twist? What I heard through the drive-through a couple of days ago. "Hey, do you have the caramel---OH MY GOD!---I don't even know what I want. I'll have the frapp---OH MY GOD!---what should I have?---OH MY GOD!------OH MY GOD!---I don't even know. What's good?---OH MY GOD!---I can't even decide! My God...---OH MY GOD!---Okay, okay, OH MY GOD, I got it, I'll have the..."

I mean it when I say, that shit fucking pisses me off.

I know I'm not the only person out there who cringes every time God's name is taken in vain like that. And it's Christians' fault. For the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles through you, as it is written. If you talk like the woman above did (and you know, I don't have to tell you, that it was a woman), I know you're not a Christian. You wouldn't be that careless. Your mom and your Sunday school teacher and your friends wouldn't let you. But you will let one little "Oh my God" slip when you learn that your order is coming in late, or there's a sweet sweater sale, or whatever other little bit of news there might be.

You know what that does?

That tells the pagans out there that it's okay to take the Lord's name in vain. And it's not. And dare I say it, not only for God's sake. For mine and others as well. I have a physical reaction of disgust every time I hear a careless "Oh my God". And I thank God and my parents for that. My mom went to a British school abroad through 11th grade. She could never stand the word "bloody". It made her cringe every time she heard it. I never understood it, but I knew it was real.

O Christian, there are still a bunch of us medievally non-mall-going Christians out there who cringe every time you call on God without calling on him.

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Yesterday my six-year-old wanted to know why Iron Man used dirty language. I was a little surprised, because I often let them watch PG and PG-13 hero cartoons, but those rating are usually due to what happens when Wolverine's claws meet flesh. There wasn't, as far as I could recall, any real foul language.

Turns out he was thinking of the Avenger's movie, which I had watched with them. I couldn't think of what he meant off-hand. When Iron Man wakes up after being blasted in the final epic fight, his first words are "What the hell? What just happened?"

So we talked about it. I said that Tony Stark was, like a lot of rich men, immoral and given to vice. I also said he was brilliant and hard-working. I told him that a person like him in real life would probably use bad language, that he wasn't written as a Christian.

But I also told him that in times of duress men will often use foul language. Including good Christian men. The important thing is to never use language carelessly. Iron Man had just been fighting a wicked god; maybe "what the hell" was accurate.

I told him what was worse than "what the hell". "What the heck". Saying that is worse.

Why, my father?

Because you're pretending not to curse, but you are. That's why you never say "jeez" or "gosh".

Also, as Swaits, you believe that words like "shit" aren't always bad. You guys are just too little to know when to use strong language, so for a few years you'll avoid it all.


"Oh my God, there's a sale at the Gap!" I'm sorry, miss, were you talking to God? Because he's listening. The Goblin King. Redrum redrum redrum. Do we really imagine that in a world made by Word we may use words carelessly? If nothing else it will impoverish your own soul. It will rip away your creative spark.

I have said elsewhere that I want to bring God in to my daily speech more. I don't say "God willing" or "thank God" often enough. If I heard a tornado were bearing down on us, I think "Oh my God" would be a fitting response. Even if the news were simply that a big storm was coming, "Oh my God" could be shorthand for "God be with us". But that's not how we use that phrase.

"For, as it is written, 'The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.'" You know what precedes that verse? "You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law." That's why God is blasphemed in our presence. You gave them permission. You who preach against adultery and stealing, do you commit adultery? do you steal?

I know you blaspheme. And you do it like it's no big deal. 


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We live, O Christians, in midgard. A world full of skubalon. A world under heaven and over hell. A world with a God and a devil and witches and bitches. And we can't forget it. We may not speak of these things carelessly, calling upon God or the devil to see to our promises or attach their names of our venial desires. Nor may we, and this is our chief vice, act like they are not there. Like saying their names is simply emptying our lungs. Names are magical and powerful, and your soul will coming rushing right out of your insides, following your careless words close behind.

If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.
If you speak vainly, your life will be vanity. And your entire life will follow where your tongue leads. Will you not be careful?

And will you please stop giving my co-workers and customers an excuse to blaspheme?

Comments

  1. I enjoyed reading about this. I was raised Southern Baptist (SBC) and so because of my upbringing in the "traditional" Southern Baptist ways I have found myself more sensitive when hearing these words because I was raised to basically believe that if someone says a curse word, you should question their salvation. As I've grown up and matured on my own spiritually I find myself Reformed, and I question a lot of the "traditional" Baptist ways of thinking. Cursing is one thing I've thought of. I've learned to not think so bad of it, but I still think in my head that maybe there's a middle ground on this. I don't know if I can necessarily agree that "gosh", "jeez", or "crap" are bad. Culture doesn't view them as that. Society hears those words and think that someone is expressing frustration without going to vulgarity. As absurd as that may be, it's still how society views it and I feel like as Christians we have a weight on our shoulder to be viewed differently in society. Now that being said I completely agree that saying a curse word should be considered a lot worse than saying God's name in vain. I believe that we are way to lenient on that, and Satan loves that. And I definitely believe a Christian, when appropriate and not careless, can curse and it be fitting for the situation at hand and not be a big deal. But I feel like there are also options we have to say something "better" for the sake of non-christians and new christians. But I could be completely off base. I would like to hear what others say about this. I feel like this was a very good post, I enjoyed reading it and agree with most of what you're saying, Mr. Swait. I am open to my mind being changed on this. What's you're opinion on how culture weighs these words and their view of Christians? Grace and peace, brother.

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    1. Well, that's it, I think we need to understand that we are always cursing and blessing. We can't just toss stuff off carelessly. One of the reasons I despise "jeez". It's not far from "Jesus". I admit that eventually connections can grow tenuous: "golly" doesn't raise my hackles, for example.

      And just to be clear, I don't think "curse words" are worse than taking the Lord's name in vain. In fact, I'd say that's the main point of this post, that taking the Lord's name in vain sounds less offensive to our ears than "cursing" and "dirty words", but should be more.

      btw, I don't dislike "crap", I think it's an honorable word. I just find it annoying that a segment of our population decided "crap" was okay while "shit" wasn't.

      Thanks for reading!

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    2. Thanks for the response! And sorry if I was a little unclear on that! Thank YOU for writing it though. Your blogs are always a blessing.
      And we are totally agreed on the "crap" thing.

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    3. Oh. I noticed my error. I meant to put "shouldn't" in the sentence "Now that being said I completely agree that saying a curse word should be considered a lot worse than saying God's name in vain" but I accidentally put "should". Typo!

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  2. Great thoughts, brother. As a pastor I face this constantly. Everybody goes red in the face because somebody said "shit" and then will gossip until they swallow their own tongue. The "foul language" legalism is bound by the horrible hypocrisy that insinuates that "I can say anything I want, so long as I say so in a culturally tolerable way." Foolishness! Our worst sins of the tongue never have a single offensive word in them. Thank you for the great thoughts, as always, and may we all learn what language builds one another up in love as being far more than a game of semantics.

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  3. Wow. Thanks for this vantage point. I would agree that saying "Oh my God" should certainly be much worse than "shit" or even "fuck." The vulgarity of these words have become a widely accepted subjection of human definition, and mean nothing harmful to God. I would only refrain from using them because it does not allow for that Holiness to be visible in our lives to the people who do not respect such words.

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    1. There's very little place for true vulgarity. However, what our culture has deemed vulgar, and what evangelicalism has deemed vulgar, are both pretty arbitrary.

      Nothing wrong with a little bawdiness.

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  4. Since the name of God is not "God," I don't see how casual uses of "God" count as blasphemy in any real sense. Now, "oh, for Christ's sake" or "Jesus Christ" used carelessly... that's getting closer. However, if invoking our Lord's name in anger (or whatever) makes us stop & realize we're praying without ceasing (whether we mean to or not) & need to consider our words & hearts, that takes a bit of the "blas" out of "blasphemy" even there.

    Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy.

    Word Origin & History
    blasphemy
    early 13c., from O.Fr. blasfemie "blasphemy," from L.L. blasphemia, from Gk. blasphemia "a speaking ill, impious speech, slander," from blasphemein "to speak evil of." Second element is pheme "utterance" (see fame); first element uncertain, perhaps related to blaptikos "hurtful," though blax "slack (in body and mind), stupid" also has been suggested.
    Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper
    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/blasphemy

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  5. Really outstanding. Thanks, Joffre. But, just for the record. I wasn't here and I never read this...

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  6. Fucking great post. Shit, I've rarely read this good an explanation of the fact that sin lies in the heart, not in the words that are used. I can totally piss people off and never use a single vulgarity -- and that makes me an asshole, not a saint for watching my language.

    Our double-standard on this issue within Christianity means a lot of teens walk around thinking "WTF?!" when adults give then a hard time about saying a particular word, but turn around and tear someone down through gossip and backbiting. And it's really hard to get that habit out of your kids, once they learn it from you.

    But I agree with Jon - I have a much bigger problem with people throwing around "Christ" or "Jesus" than I do with someone saying the word "God." But I appreciate the point you're making there, and besides -- people who use OMG nonstop are just dicks.

    I once had someone in upper levels of authority over me totally flip their shit because a play I was directing used the words "hell, damn, ass" about 5 total (combined) over the course of the script. (The actors were upperclassmen in high school, and I *know* their daily language was far saltier.) The characters in this 1930s classic of American theater? Murderers. All but two. And liars. Gossips. Greedy. Probably adulterous.

    Now, I don't believe that acting a sinful character's storyline makes the actor complicit, but I wish this man of authority had at least objected to something with substance. Or had the balls to come talk to me himself. ... because then he could have come explained his objection to my students in person, and heard their 30 minutes of excellent, mature, insightful discussion about what makes something sinful or not. They saw through the hypocrisy of it all instantly.

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